Leading with Grit, Grace, And Big Girl Panties

Leading with Grit, Grace, And Big Girl Panties

From Cop Aspirations to Leadership Confusion

Let me take you back. Picture me, fresh-faced and full of ambition in the UK. I had it all figured out (or so I thought). I was going to join the police service— with the goal of moving into forensics, solving high-profile crimes, all while looking exceptionally professional in a perfectly pressed suit. 

Sounds dreamy, right? Well, life had other plans, as it so often does.

Fast forward a couple of years, and there I was, in the fast-paced world of financial services, heading up a sales team for a company, despite the small fact that I had failed maths. I know, the irony. If I couldn't count, then maybe I could sell the idea of counting. The subject I could barely pass in school—was now the foundation of my daily grind.

Over the next years and the many different positions, I held, I seemed to find myself working for bosses who fit a familiar mold: Slightly chubby (sorry not sorry), White, Wealthy, Arrogant... (oh and Male)—basically every stereotype you can think of when it comes to corporate leadership.  Despite the odds, I threw myself into every role, determined to prove I was worth my salt. I poured everything into my roles—late nights, early mornings, sacrificing my weekends and sometimes, okay often, my sanity—because that’s what you did – or so I thought, when you’re trying to prove yourself. Right? I climbed the corporate ladder, bit by bit, goal always the same: make others think I had it all together, often at the cost of my boundaries and values.  

Almost every role I had was a management position, with people reporting to me. Suddenly, I was needing to lead. But was I actually ready to make decisions that affected real people or real businesses? I couldn’t even decide what to have for dinner most days. 

Let me tell you, my internal monologue was a complete mess. It often sounded something like this: "Should I be tough, like one of those leaders who walks into a room and everyone falls silent? Or should I be super friendly, the kind of boss who brings muffins to work and high-fives everyone? "Am I too strong? Too weak? Or am I just... completely lost?"

The truth was, I didn’t know what kind of leader I was—or even what kind of leader I wanted to be. I think it changed as frequently as the direction of the wind, or depending on the arrogance of said boss at the time.

Jurie: The Mentor I Never Knew I Needed

Fast-forward - 2012, I found myself in the Northern Sabi Sand, with my fiancé (now husband), Mike. We had recently moved from the Western sector to start our ‘adult life’ and I had just accepted a new role.

Jurie ‘the new boss’ and his wife, Pippa, owned and operated Djuma, a Luxury Safari Lodge, and spoiler alert —I honestly couldn’t have asked for a better mentor.

How to describe Jurie? 

Well, he was everything that my previous bosses weren’t. Was he male? Yes. Wealthy? Yes. But there was not a thread of arrogance, like EVER, BMI - healthy! 

I had never worked for anyone quite like him. Jurie was (still is) the most composed, thoughtful, level-headed and ‘together’ leader I’d ever encountered. I was young and pretty inexperienced in this world, but Jurie saw something in me. He saw the potential I didn’t even know I had and committed to investing in me for over seven years. He became my mentor, and to this day, I still turn to him when I need advice.

What did I learn from Jurie? A lot.

He taught me that leadership isn’t about being the loudest in the room or making the most aggressive decisions. He taught me it wasn’t about 'big dick swinging contests' or fear led, I wasn’t about arrogance or dominance. It was about compassion, dignity, patience, and trust. 

Jurie trusted me with decisions and responsibilities that were huge—some of which, I’ll admit, didn’t go as planned and cost him some moola (sorry, Jurie). But every mistake became an opportunity to learn from, he didn’t just say, “It’s fine” No. He calmly helped me see what went wrong, and then—like a true leader—he let me fix it. No drama, no judgement, no guilt, no shame. Just solutions. Who knew leadership could actually be this chill? He taught me that it’s okay to make mistakes, as long as you own them, learn from them, and move forward.

He also taught me to set boundaries. Yes, boundaries. Something I was notoriously bad at. Jurie, with his quiet strength, taught me that kindness doesn’t mean being a pushover. In fact, he showed me that being firm and compassionate can go hand in hand. We never mistook his kindness for weakness. Oh no. His boundaries were firm, but the care and respect we had for him meant that they were never tested.

I was often given the responsibility to represent Jurie at high-stake meetings and suddenly I grew more confident. I felt safe in the decisions I was making, because I knew I had the backing of a leader who had my back- regardless.

Jurie taught me to lead by example. He didn’t tell me how to do it—he showed me. And it worked. So well, in fact, that I even started to feel like I could run the world ( well at least the business).

The day I left Djuma felt like I was leaving behind a piece of my soul. But Jurie, being the absolute legend he is, supported my decision. He’s been in my corner ever since, giving me the confidence to keep pushing forward. Djuma will forever be where I grew the most—not just as an employee but as a leader.

Joanne: My First Female Boss (AKA Boss Bitch, but the Good Kind)

Next stop: a shiny new role with a shiny new title. I was about to meet my next boss—Joanne. 

My first ever female boss. I know, I know, you’re probably imagining the whole “boss bitch persona”, but Joanne? She was the boss bitch- but in the most complimentary way possible. The dainty, attractive, and ridiculously competent kind. She looked the part and owned it like a pro. 

When Joanne joined the organisation, our leadership team was thrust into a new era- fast and hard. Suddenly, we needed to start operating as a high-functioning team or risk being left behind. And I’m not talking about a polite “please catch up” situation. No.

I was terrified. Like, proper!  Was this the moment someone would figure out that I had no idea what I was doing? But Joanne didn’t give me time to panic. She made me face it head-on. “time to put those big girl panties on”! No warm fuzzies, no excuses. Just results. And accountability. Which, if I’m honest, was a shock to the system. But hell did I grow and grow fast!

Joannes leadership style was tough, yes, but never cold. She was approachable, supportive, and somehow always knew how to perfectly balance the line between “this is business, get on with it” and “I’m here for you.” I had what I can only describe as a professional girl crush. I mean, she was running a multimillion-rand business, while looking fabulous and she made it look easy. She was (is) a powerhouse. 

Joanne taught me that leadership wasn’t just about being ‘nice’ or ‘kind’ or even always liked—it was about being clear, decisive, and always adding value.

I often find myself thinking, “What would Joanne do in this situation?” more often than I’d care to admit. Her leadership style—grit, purpose, and the courage to make the tough calls—has become my benchmark. Whether I’m facing a difficult decision or navigating a tricky situation, I carry her lessons with me daily.

So then, What Kind of Leader Am I?

So here I am today. A product of two incredible mentors—Jurie and Joanne. 

Both, without even knowing it, helped shaped me into the leader I am today. Sure, I’ve had other bosses along the way- most teaching me the type of leader I didn’t want to be, but these two showed me to lead by example. To never half-ass it, remaining humble and respectful, holding my boundaries, making decisions with conviction, owning my mistakes and continuous learnings. Showing up, even when you’re not sure, and doing your very best anyway. Growing your team and never being arrogant about the position you hold. And becoming the leader, you need to be, for the people you lead!!

And sometimes, its admitting you don’t have all the answers. And hey, if we can lead a team or business, while still being unsure about tonight's dinner choice, maybe we’re not doing such a bad job.

Yes, I still get nervous. Yes, I still make mistakes. But I’ve found my voice now. And, like Jurie and Joanne showed me, I'll continue to keep trying to lead by example, with grit, grace, and—most importantly— my big girl panties!

So, to Jurie, to Joanne—thank you!! For shaping me, for believing in me, and for growing me.              

I wouldn’t have had the balls to start Ripple Effect without you.

xx