Starting a Consulting Business – The Rollercoaster of Freedom (With Extra Loops of Anxiety!)

This is ME, Candice Grover, a consultant, right before realising that starting a consulting business means juggling clients, proposals, and imposter syndrome... and still thinking, 'How hard can it be?'" HA!

Retrenched and at a Crossroads – What the Hell Now?!

So there I was, sipping lukewarm coffee (which felt like a metaphor for my life at that moment), when I got the news: I was being retrenched. Yep, no job, no payslip, and absolutely NO clue what was next. Cue the emotional rollercoaster—complete with a few loops of “OH Shit, what now?!”

On one hand, there was the lure of safety: brushing up my CV, hunting for another full-time gig, and jumping back into the glorious world of office politics, performance reviews, and meetings that absolutely could have been emails. On the other hand, there was this wild, nagging thought in the back of my head: “What if I start my own consulting business?” You know, something where I call the shots, set my own schedule, and finally stop working sleepless nights building someone else’s financial dream.

But, before I got to that decision, my poor husband had to endure some very interesting ideas. At one point, I seriously considered buying vending machines. Yep, I imagined placing them in random spots around Hoedspruit like some sort of snack fairy. Then there was the phase where I explored becoming a Shein rep—because, clearly, the world needs more fast fashion influencers, right? Oh, and let’s not forget the moment when I actually toyed with the thought of being a stay-at-home Mom. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE my kids, but hell no! I have always been fiercely financially independent, and the thought of my husband carrying my weight long-term. Absolutely NOT!

So, there I was—at the ultimate crossroads, facing many, many moments of frustration, anger, confusion and fear—oh, and of course, lots of tears. Do I jump back into the security of a traditional job? Or do I take the leap and build something of my own?

Spoiler alert: I took the leap. And let me tell you, it’s been an exciting (and sometimes terrifying) ride. Buckle up, because we're about to dive into the real challenges of starting your own consulting business. Anxiety, guilt, and imposter syndrome included—free of charge!

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Imposter Syndrome: Who Gave Me the Keys to This Consultancy?!

So, I took the leap. Yay, right? 

My first few days were a whirlwind of energy. I started checking off the essentials like one of my kids on a treasure hunt: Bank account? Tick! Logo? Yep, thanks to one of my besties who clearly has way too much talent! Email address? Got it! Signed Client 1#? YEAH! Service Level Agreement contract template... Oh wait—shit, I need one of those?! Cue panic! Thankfully, said bestie swooped in again like the superhero she is, and of course, ChatGPT was right there as my trusty sidekick. Crafting my personal | company profile? Eish, that was a whole different level of fun—it forced me to stare deep into the abyss and confront my "why." But hey, tick!

And of course, I whipped up a nice-looking invoice template—tick, tick, tick!

But just when I thought I was cruising toward greatness, reality decided to pull up a chair, sip its coffee, and say, "Hey, let’s chat!"

Enter: Imposter Syndrome—that delightful little voice that insists you’re a complete fraud and everyone’s about to figure you out. You know, because clearly, I must have faked my entire professional career until this point. Right? Like, could I REALLY run a business? Someone’s going to come knocking soon to say, "You have made a mistake. You're not supposed to be doing this."

At first, I told myself it was normal to feel this way. After all, I had been retrenched—didn’t that mean I wasn’t good enough? Cue the internal monologue of doubt: Maybe I wasn’t cut out for this consulting thing. What if all my previous accomplishments were just luck? What if I’m really not that talented?

This was the same me who, when working for someone else, had all the answers. The same me who fixed things, handled crises, and got shit done. But now, with my own business? The doubt crept in like it was paying rent—and anyone who lives in Hoedspruit knows the kind of dough I’m talking about.

It didn’t matter how many people confidently told me, “You’re going to be fine!” or “Cands, you’ve got this!” I couldn’t help but wonder—what if I wasn’t going to be fine? What if I definitely didn’t have this? I mean, what if I ended up as a cautionary tale instead of a success story?

I’d sit there, staring at my laptop, debating whether my bio sounded confident or if I had crossed into “who does she think she is?” territory. Every proposal felt like a potential scam I was running—except I wasn’t running a scam, and I did have the skills. But, you try telling that to Imposter Syndrome.

And let’s not forget: consultants are supposed to know everything, right? So obviously, I felt this incredible pressure to be an expert on every single thing my clients might ask. No pressure… at all!

The reality is, Imposter Syndrome doesn’t care if you’re perfectly qualified—it sneaks in like the uninvited guest it is, reminding you of every possible thing you could screw up. But the good news is, most of us feel this way—or so I’m told. And you know what they say? Fake it ‘til you make it. Well, friends, I’m out here faking it like a pro!

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Selling Yourself: Anxiety Served with a Side of Proposals (AKA Sales Pitches)

Let’s talk about selling yourself—something I totally thought I was prepared for. I mean, I’ve worked with corporate clients before, negotiated huge contracts with intricate terms of reference, and proved my skills, right? Easy peasy… Erm, wrong!

The thing is, selling yourself as a consultant is a whole new ballgame. Before, when I was in the traditional ‘corporate job’, I didn’t need to constantly remind people that I was competent. I was already in the building, I’d earned the badge, and I was on the payroll. But when you’re a consultant? Well, suddenly you’re like a walking, talking sales pitch. Every conversation feels like a mini Dragons' Den audition, and Peter Jones is my potential client.

Now, don’t even get me started on the absolute funhouse of explaining what I do.

"So, what do you do?"
"Well, I sell myself—oomph, wait, no, not like that. That certainly doesn’t sound right. I sell my skills. Erm, okay, that doesn’t say anything... Umm, what is it that I do exactly? Help!"

It’s a special kind of panic when you realise you need to summarise your entire career into a neat little sentence that doesn’t make you sound like a game show contestant. Have I practised in front of the mirror? Umm… yes! Have I got it written at the front of my notebook? Yep! “I help nonprofit organisations create sustainable practices and strategies for the long term, implement systems to enhance their impact, improve operational efficiency, and become more attractive for funding opportunities.” Excuse me, what???

Picture this: I’m sitting across from someone, giving my best elevator pitch, and my brain is doing that annoying thing where it narrates my every move. "Am I talking too much? Wait, did I mention my skill set and how it aligns with what they are looking for? Oh shit, was that just a brag? Oh god, I sound desperate, don’t I?" By the end, I’m half-expecting them to say, “Thanks for coming to our TED Talk on Overthinking!”

It’s funny because a year ago, I would cringe at the thought of even mildly promoting myself. Now? It's my full-time job. Literally! I’m not just selling a service—I’m selling me. My experience, my skills, my ability to fix things. It’s a weird blend of confidence and anxiety that keeps you humble, trust me. And don’t even get me started on the whole social media scene. What image am I supposed to use when I’m selling myself? For the love of all that’s good, do I really have to put up a picture of me?! Argh!

Then comes the fun part—pricing. “Alright, how much should I charge? What if I charge too much and they laugh me out of the room? Or worse, what if I charge too little and they still laugh me out of the room?” It’s this ridiculous balancing act of knowing your worth (if imposter syndrome isn’t whispering doubts in your ear) while still keeping it real. Suddenly, I am the business. There IS no buffer. When I send that invoice, it’s got my name on it. When a client appoints me, it’s because they believe in me and what I’ve said I can do. The stakes are high, and that comes with its own set of freak-out moments.

But honestly, after a few awkward pitches, I feel I am starting to get the hang of it. I’m learning to talk about my strengths without sounding like a braggart—or at least I think I am... I’m beginning to realise that clients want you to be confident—they want to feel like they’re in good hands. So, I guess that’s what I’m selling: confidence, with a side of, "Please hire me, I promise you, I do know what I’m doing!"

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Closing Thoughts: Documenting the Journey and Looking Ahead

If you're reading this, chances are you're either at that same crossroads I was at, standing there shouting, WTF?!, or maybe you’re just curious about my journey and what it’s like to jump off the train and start a consulting business. Either way, welcome to my inner thoughts!

I’m documenting this journey not only for those of you who are navigating the same wild ride, but for myself—to look back in a few months (or years!) and, hopefully, celebrate how far I’ve come.

I didn’t realise when I started writing this how cathartic it would be. It's like a little therapy session with myself. I’ve already started brainstorming my next blog ideas! With Christmas around the corner, it looks like time management as a consultant (and its quirky chaos) might be the next topic I dive into. Wait... does this make me a blogger now?!

Before I wrap this up, a quick shout-out to the people who’ve been cheering me on since day one. To my husband—thank you for putting up with all my random career ideas (vending machines and Shein, anyone? I have done the research!) and for always listening!

And, of course, to my clients—past, present, and future—thank you for trusting me with your challenges, even when I’m over here writing blogs about my own. I’ll be honest: writing about the rollercoaster of running a consulting business has been raw, real, and, yes, a bit terrifying. But I hope you understand that this openness comes from a place of deep passion and commitment. You’ll never be mentioned by name, but if you’re reading this, I hope it gives you a chuckle and reassures you that I’ve got everything under control (even when I’m overthinking the small stuff!).

At the end of the day, we’re all human—sometimes confident, definitely capable, and normally overthinking. Aaaand that’s me in a nutshell. Here’s to many more projects, lots of learning, and hopefully, a few laughs along the way!

Thanks for the idea, G! Stay tuned.